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Brainstorming Develop a strong social circle.

Discussion in 'Misc' started by Shaney96, Sep 26, 2018.

  1. Shaney96

    Shaney96 Active Member

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    Uni has started. This week I'm attending 'taster sessions' for various societies. Last night I got pretty stressed since I was thinking about joining about 7 societies, since so many of them sound good, but this morning I realize that I must be strict with myself and only join a select few.

    I have my final year of Uni to prioritise, which includes a Project. Furthermore, a housemate made the point "better to have fewer societies and develop deeper friendships and spread yourself thin", which is an accurate point.

    I'd like associate myself with attractive people who can help further me and bring me closer toward long-term goals. It is for these reasons I have cut out potential societies such as, for example, the City Pubs Society. I am thinking, society-wise: Dance, Expedition, Music & Jamming, Rock. Potentially swapping out Expedition for both Climbing and also Mountaineering, but I'll make that decision this weekend.

    Other than societies, there's not a whole lot I'll do to expand my social circle. I'll socialize at the gym every now-and-again when I see someone I haven't spoken to, but I've found that 'the gym is the gym, not a playground'. I aim to use this Goal as a means to keep track of developing relationships with various people.

    For the goal? A personal goal would be to have something like 3 people by the end of the academic year (next May/June) whom I deem lifetime-worthy friends. A goal for January could be to: Find one person that inspires me (and could therefore essentially be an accidental mentor), have a group of 3 guys who I feel comfortable being vulnerable with (basically can have honest conversations over a pint), and perhaps have one social group of at least 5 people whereby we meet up weekly/fortnightly to go clubbing/pubbing/some other group activity.
     
  2. Kostadin

    Kostadin Active Member

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    Looks good. The system of societies is something we don't have in Bulgaria, so I can't really give you advice beyond "Just make sure you're joining societies because you would like to participate in their activities and not because you think the people doing the said activities are interesting/potential friends, etc." But by your choices of societies I can see you've already done a good job at this.
    What is that Project you were talking about? Is it going to take so much of your time that at some point you will have to become kind of a book worm, not participate in the societies' meetings and therefore be unable to do the goal you've set ? (I may be just talking illogical things because I have no clue how your system works, however, I think it's a legitimate question nevertheless)
     
  3. Shaney96

    Shaney96 Active Member

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    It's a valid point. I'm more going "I'll join societies I'm interested in and that I believe will consist of attractive people". By attractive I mean "likely to add value to my life". Of course, some societies I can expect to have more attractive people in.
    I've chosen: Expedition (basically going camping/hiking/climbing), Dance, Yoga, Music & Jamming, and potentially Rock.
    It's imperative that I attend society events out of interest for what they're hosting, and that I'm present to the moment when participating. This will help ensure I actually cultivate friendships, rather than just trying to make friends with people for the sake of it, and coming across needy.

    The project is essentially my dissertation: I'll be creating a Project of some sort (probably coding something, since I'm CompSci) then creating a 3000 word report or something.

    A totally legitimate question, and it's why I've had to dampen down the amount of societies I'll be part of:
    Dance and Expedition will usually have something on every fortnight, and Music and Jamming and Yoga I'll attend one session a week I imagine. Dance classes will be 2 or 3 weekdays a week. Combine this with gym and general socializing and all my Uni stuff, and I think I'll be busy but should manage given my time management is sufficient.
     
    Kostadin likes this.

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