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Goal Get a date from day game - round 2

Discussion in 'Women' started by Tom, May 17, 2018.

Goal: Getting a date from day game by July 28, 2018 (finished)

100%

Completed

Member Tom commits to the following actions to achieve this goal

All approaches direct.

Wk1: 5 approaches. Wk2: 10 approaches. 3: 15. 4+: 20 each week.

  1. Gort

    Gort Robot

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  2. Tom

    Tom Active Member

    Rating points:
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    Goal Update

    Love this, challenging the girl.

    So, as for this week. I do not know what happened, I found it very difficult. I was out in my nearest cities to play warhammer but it meant I was on public transport, in shopping centers and public spaces but only managed 2 approaches!

    Direct approach in a shopping center, stunning blonde. She said she had a boyfriend after I went direct and that she was flattered. I left it there. The second was in a book shop. A tall red head. I opened with 'how's it going?' and got a decent response which was interesting. But I was super nervous and bailed. She seemed like the type of girl who doesn't get hit on much and probably would have been an easy date BUT I bottled it.

    Hoping this week is better. Going to have to try a new approach to my day game. It seems I can only approach if I say to myself 'today, this session is for day game'' and I can't approach if I'm about on my normal travels.
     

    Voting on this update has closed.

  3. James

    James Host

    It is more difficult during the usual day-to-day, because you're just not thinking of it. Perhaps you can somehow combine the two by using stages. E.g. if "you're going out to the shops" make it "you're going out to day game for 30 minutes, and then shops".
    Got to plant your feet! It's not over until she says so.

    Interestingly, the other issue is: when you approach is the only time anyone can actually notice it. The moment you're talking to her, no passer by knows that you don't know each other and you just approached her randomly a second ago. So your nervousness is only before her. Got to get concrete feet -- the longer you talk, the less nervousness.
     
  4. Gort

    Gort Robot

    Notification: The previous update has been rated.

    The score was: 2.20.

    Your next progress update will come due on Sun, 24 Jun 2018
     
  5. Tom

    Tom Active Member

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    Really is the thing between me and a date you know man. I'm pretty sure once I eliminate and start asking for more numbers, I've got more opportunities for dates.
     
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  6. Gort

    Gort Robot

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  7. Tom

    Tom Active Member

    Rating points:
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    Action points:
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    Result points:
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    Goal Update

    So only managed 2 aspproaches this week.

    A girl I saw on the way to an art show. Standard direct line, she didn't really understand and started giving me directions.... So I told her I am hitting on her. she thanked me but told me she has a meeting to attend too. I should have told her 'well we'll chat for 1 minute and .....' but pretty much forgot to try this line.

    2nd approach was a 3 set outside a bar early evening. Went indirect about if the bar was busy. I never early got to the hook point and after trying for probably 2-3 minutes (spoke about uni, why they are still here - semester has ended, other bars they'd recommend) and got the impression they wanted out as the ring leader (solid 8) seemed to walk out of the conversation. I took it as a prompt to leave and I bailed.

    So a pretty shit week. Which leads me onto a pretty important question. I'm finding it really hard to day game in the shitty run down towns near my house. Manchester on the other hand is day game on steroids (I was there a lot when I managed 16 approaches) but it's getting pretty expensive and time consuming getting the train (nearly 3 hours total travel time, factoring in struggling train services) in and out of Manchester (add on more travel if I start getting dates there - especially if I get stood up again!). In the shitty towns I find it hard to build momentum only seeing a 6 every 45 minutes and lose 'state' and find it really hard to approach. There are a few hot girls though that I bail on.

    So, do I suck it up and make my nearby shitty towns work or just accept I will have to spend quite a bit of time and money to spam approach in Manchester to improve my social skills ?
     

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  8. Shaney96

    Shaney96 Active Member

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    How about spending one solid day in Manchester approaching? Rather than having to make multiple trips, you could say to yourself "fuck man, this shit's expensive. I'm gonna pay this once this week, so I'm therefore going to make the most of it."

    This may put added pressure on yourself, but if you warmup (on the way to the train and on the train, for example) then you could have a killer day and get all the approaches done for the week.
     
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  9. Tom

    Tom Active Member

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    @Shaney96 Yeah that sounds the best. 2 sessions close to home with a hench one in Manchester should do the trick. With that only one Manchester trip, it should hopefully stop the 'oh I'll get more tomorrow' (which never really do get done....)
     
  10. Fundinn

    Fundinn Active Member

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    Well, you still did two approaches. Better than none. Every step counts, it's particularly hard to try something new, if the number of approaches is small, you want to make sure you don't repeat something that didn't feel right. Try to write down one sentence or statement you want to make on a card and read it before approaching.

    It took me months in sparring to relax and do combinations, so all I could really do is go back to the most basic thing, to breath. Then when I felt like breathing was under control, I started adding a tiny bit more complexity. It's a long process, but carefully stacking the bricks makes a nice foundation. It takes patience though, cause you want to live in that house one day.

    I guess it depends on your priorities. I don't agree with @Shaney96 on doing full days. I think it's about quality, not quantity. Even if you did 16 in one day, then all of them must have been kind of short. Do one, and if it's short, try to make the next one longer. Ask yourself why it stops, see about asking intentional questions. You will notice that asking good questions and paying attention takes a lot of energy, that's why after doing 4-5 approaches it's better to back off than to keep trying whilst tired.

    I could see doing a lot of approaches beneficial if you are being trained and that you're problem is actually approaching, but that still shows you would unwillingly think about going for "many numbers" instead of making each and every one of them feel special. When two people meet, it's like two universes collide, a lot of energy can be generated... anyways, I wrote this cause that's how it's feeling for me right now and my last few approaches. It was a lot better when I made it count.

    Keep it up friend!
     
  11. Gort

    Gort Robot

    Notification: The previous update has been rated.

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  12. Tom

    Tom Active Member

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    I see what you mean man. The problem is I am an acquired taste initially, people usually come round an see who I am and enjoy it after a a bit so I feel like I will need to spam to find the connections - primarily because the girls I connect with will (potentially?) be scarce. I think this also ties in with my day game skills - they are rough. Eye contact is still something I'm trying to work on.

    But 100% I agree with you about trying to make the most of interactions, the opener I think is OK now to get better in the interaction, both more comfortable and better body language.
     
  13. Fundinn

    Fundinn Active Member

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    That's a story you tell yourself ;). Of course you aren't that Cuban immigrant who grew up learning sensuality, a sense of rhythm and a playful attitude, but that doesn't mean it makes sense to go to places and start interactions with the mindset of "People will value me when they get to know me". It's the case for almost everyone. Once you drop the ego on someone you realize there is a whole lot more to their life.

    To some degree, both sexes screen each other out the most at the start of an exchange. I don't know that new girl, I don't have to give her anymore respect than she deserves, after-all, I don't know her, we have no shared experiences.

    I don't think you can make quick, radical changes, but try to figure out why you aren't interesting to women as soon as the interaction starts.

    You probably read, and heard of an abundant mentality. It's not BS, it's not make-believe either. No matter how you start, it's not wishful thinking to give yourself a hand and believe there's a lot waiting for you out there. You are putting in the effort, back it up with better mental stories.

    It might be worth thinking about your intentions and what your inner-dialogue happens to be before going into interactions. I believe we are closing out some doors by putting on unjustified limits on ourselves.
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2018
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  14. Gort

    Gort Robot

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  15. Tom

    Tom Active Member

    Rating points:
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    Goal Update

    Just come back from a job interview for a geotechnical company so will be interesting to see how it goes.

    Well, I did my 20. I took 3 trips to Manchester. Did 10, 6 and 4 approaches. The first 10 was tough. Just blown out by 8 girls, one girl who was leaving the day after (conversation went well, she stood super close and responded well to be opened direct) and a hot girl who was actually with her bf in Waterstones. Good job I opened the set indirect!

    Day 2 was shorter and I suffered 3 blow outs 1 girl who liked the approach but was taken and a 2 set from New Zealand who I never reached the hook point with. I bailed. I tried for the hookpoint. This was kind of the turning point where I broke the bailing that i had been doing on previous sets. A bit deflated after 15 sets with nothing I opened a girl who looked a bit young in the station. Turned out she was the same age as me. Conversation went well. i got her number. I got 1 reply from her and she's ghosted my 2 replies since.

    Session 3 was short. i got rejected by a Lithuanian girl who simply said she didn't want to have a coffee with me (was refreshing actually with a girl being so honest). I tried to introduce statements of empathy ('I know this is random/different but I had to say hi to you') and it culminated in a very solid conversation with an Italian girl. Got her number. She proceeded to ghost. Apart from opening (about a chair that seemed free) and chilling with a large group of people in a bar (who tuned out to be hardcore druggies, they were ordering coke off their dealer whilst i was with them) I got blown out again. Direct can really get you awkward responses. i complemented her dress, statement of empathy, context she looked terrified. She actually couldn't speak properly. I bailed instantly. I'm probably flagged as the creepy harasser in her feminism meet!

    I'm improving. The sticking points are getting combated and now i'm staying in the set I am actually getting numbers. Hopefully I can convert one soon!
     

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    James likes this.
  16. James

    James Host

    Nice. Definitely improving, keep it up. The more you do it, the more honed you get.
     
  17. Shaney96

    Shaney96 Active Member

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    Damn man, fair play to you getting so many approaches in.

    I honestly admire your ability to push through that approach anxiety when out solo.

    You're way ahead of me in daygame, so the only 'advice' I could give would be unsolicited. However a couple of things that I've considered in attempt to help interactions:

    - You're only approaching because you want to learn something about the girl. "I wonder what ethnicity she is", "cool jeans, where does she shop?", Etc..
    - I'm going into town to see if Waterstones sell book X. If a fit bird happens to be around, I'll try saying hey.
    - Perfectionism will limit me. Failure is part of the process.

    But yeah, carry on man. Reading your updates regarding approaching inspires me to get out.
     
  18. Tom

    Tom Active Member

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    @James Cheers breh

    Thanks @Shaney96 ! I've been trying bits of solo daygame for a year now, i can finally direct approach! There is a youtuber called James Tusk who basically states if you can't say 'hi, you look nice' to a girl, then as a man, where are your balls? xD brutal but kind of true. But accept it has the potential to take a while.

    I agree with your advice. My approach is literally: I'm outside to do daygame and I will go direct to get the numbers in. Whilst this will help with approach anxiety, the quality will be and perhaps is poor.

    Trouble is though I've been in Preston and Manchester that often now I have nothing left to look at! get a tan and enjoy the outdoors will be a better mindset I guess. I'll will probably introduce this after the challenge. Spam approach up until comic con which i will literally treat as a networking/day game battle arena which sounds dodgy as fuck but........ I want to date nerdy girls I'm attracted to so who cares xD (never underestimate the talent at comic con bois)
     
  19. Gort

    Gort Robot

    Notification: The previous update has been rated.

    The score was: 4.20.

    Your next progress update will come due on Sun, 08 Jul 2018
     
  20. Gort

    Gort Robot

    Notification: Goal update is due.

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