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Goal Getting a date from day game in the next 6 weeks

Discussion in 'Women' started by Tom, Dec 20, 2017.

Goal: Getting a date from day game by January 31, 2018 (finished)

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Member Tom commits to the following actions to achieve this goal

48 total approaches of indirect with some direct depending on nerves.

  1. Tom

    Tom Active Member

    Rating points:
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    Result points:
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    Goal Approval

    Ok, here it is. I'll post my field reports in here too. Hoping to get out today. My hometown is the classic deprived north England town... But hopefully there are some 6s+ about.

    Specific: One date. 48 approaches. 6 week time span.

    Measurable and action plan: got to hit the numbers.
    - Wk 1+2: 8 approaches.
    - Wk 3+4: 16 approaches
    - Wk 5+6: 24 approaches.

    I'll start indirect week 1. If direct comes out, sack it, direct is how I'll go.
     
    James likes this.
  2. James

    James Host

    Looks solid.

    The forum currently uses a 24 hour approval period, and a fixed quorum of 3 people to approve a goal; or alternatively an admin can just vote it through. So we'll let the community add their buy-in by voting for it.
     
  3. Tom

    Tom Active Member

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    Ok.... field report here.

    1 indirect approach. Looked like a reasonably fit late 20s. Saw her browsing the Christmas stuff. 'Are you last minute Christmas shopping too?' her, 'i just nipped out to look at som........' She went off like a bullet. Didn't peruse.

    Past a few fitties but no noticeable props on them so bailed. Edit: was a few 7s out shopping that I didn't approach. Actively looking in shops with shopping bags. Any ideas for an indirect?

    Approached a women packing up a charity stall. (not sure if this should count) I asked her age, '27', attractive and slim. Wish I just bit the bullet and asked her out.

    So 1 legit approach. 1 easy not sure to count approach.

    My band is playing tonight so going to try to approach 1 girl to make up for the last one. something like 'hey, you like a maria Carey fan'

    Any tips for how to use a coffee shop to approach girls with props?

    next time, going to try my nearest city, my home town is shit. The library was empty too.
     
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2017
    James likes this.
  4. James

    James Host

    It counts.

    Cafe is in a way a little harder for indirect, because of the sitting down aspect. Whatever you do, there will have to be a "can I join you for a minute" bit so you're at their table, so it's more direct anyway, and you could go with a basic "hey I was just (heading to place X / studying / waiting for a friend), but I thought you looked nice, so I wanted to say hi" before you ask to join (for a minute).

    You could insert the prop like "hey, is that a Dostoyevsky (book)?", and strike up conversation like that, but you'll still have to invite yourself to her table (depending on her response), otherwise you're talking across tables and it's kind of more awkward. What you could do is pay attention to the props women tend to have in a cafe (the simplest is of course "a coffee"), make a list, and then later think of ways to strike up a conversation about each one.
     
    Shaney96 and Tom like this.
  5. Fundinn

    Fundinn Active Member

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    Hey Tom, enjoying reading your experiences so far. Looks like your off to a great start. As for coffee shops, I remember waiting in line wondering out loud what I should go for X or Y? To whatever girl happened to be in front or behind(or the cashier). Then I'd ask their opinion. People like helping others, it can open up the door to other topics. And you know, even if whoever in front of you is not attractive, getting to know people and their answers is experience.
     
    Shaney96, Tom and norbulak like this.
  6. Gort

    Gort Robot

    Notification: Goal approved!

    The community voted to approve this goal as Doable and SMART.
    Now, do your best to succeed! Your next progress update will come due on Sun, 31 Dec 2017.
     
    Tom likes this.
  7. Tom

    Tom Active Member

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    Awesome bois! Stuff to try. Next field report coming either Friday but definitely on Saturday. Out with a wing Saturday but got to get those 2 solo approaches.

    Hope Christmas and santa delivers guys. Cheers for the help.

    As a side note, my copy of No more Mr nice guy dropped in my local book shop. Picking it up later.
     
    James likes this.
  8. Tom

    Tom Active Member

    Rating points:
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    Day game session 2: The way of the shop assistant player

    My wing bailed and has vanished so I was again solo day gaming. Finding it solid. I need to get a mate to help me out for the 4 approaches next week.

    Started by approaching a shop assistant, asking about body creams. Solid 8/10. I was pretty nervous. She showed me the aisle. Tried to make solid eye contact and just ended up staring into her brown eyes until she said upstairs might be able to help you find a box set and left.

    Next target, 45 year old milf shop assistant. Asked her about the sales. Told her I wanted to get on the blazer hype, she laughed, 10 seconds talking about blazers and how expensive they are. Then I left.

    I enter the video game and DVD shop. I like the shop, props everywhere. Instantly start scouting. 2 girls shopping for DVD's. Yes lads. Wait too long and linger, we've both clocked each other. Fuck it: 'are you last minute Christmas shopping too?'. Similar scenario to the first approach in day game session 1. It didn't really hook her in and she kind of left with her friend quickly to carry on browsing. She said something about yes, late as usual. Should have teased her for that and tried to hook them in.

    Not hooking them in resulting from:

    • Not attracting them
    • lingering too long
    • weak followup
    • poor eye contact
    ^ things to work on.

    So 1 approach.

    Approach 2. I want to count this.

    Shop number 2, tried on a blazer. Noticed 3 assistants talking together. 6,7 and a 7.85. 'hey, can I get an opinion on the blazer?' The 7.85 an instant 'YES' and the others liked it. Talked about what would go with it for 20/30 seconds. Eye contact was weak but it felt good getting the compliments off them. I was smiling so hard xD. The 6 who spoke the most was at the checkout when I was buying (she was just lingering) and we joked about the playlist.

    I left.

    Leaving the caretaker to set up the much needed wet floor signs.

    So I'm hoping the last one counts.

    Switching it up to 4 next week. 8 total approaches. Hopefully a direct gets thrown in as there are some absolute 9's when out shopping.

    If that approach counts, then 4/4 approaches achieved.
     
    Shaney96 and James like this.
  9. James

    James Host

    Going well, good work.

    Any approach, where you say something to her in genuine attempt to start a conversation with her, counts.

    Yes working on eye contact can help. I remember an old rule for maximum eye contact: look her in the eye while she's looking you in the eye, and when she looks away, you look away (you can see in peripheral vision when she looks back). So that could be an exercise to try. Normally you won't be doing that much, but it shows you the top end.

    Also for the follow-up, start with the end in mind. The action is the approaches, but the goal is a date. So think of the stepping stones between the approach and the date too. Basically, you want to keep a conversation going for at least a few minutes (to prove she has some acceptance of you taking her time), then make an excuse why you have to get going, and then say something like "but would you like to continue this conversation some other time?", "ahhh"-> nope, "ok" -> yep, "ok well how's best to contact you?", get her number/whatsapp etc, "ok enjoy your (whatever she's doing)", gone.
     
    Shaney96 and Tom like this.
  10. Tom

    Tom Active Member

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    Cheers.

    I think it could be a bit of the pre ejac which I had real problems with when day gaming with a wing.

    I might stick to a conversation frame to help me battle through the uncomfortable 2 mins and avoid the pre ejac.

    In a James Tusk video on youtube he talks out a noob. It was approach (ideally direct), then says they look x nationality to put them in a box and to force them break out of it.

    So I could try, 'hey, so many DVD's!'. [her] Push it to a 'you look like a chic flick fan'. 'you don't? what stuff do you watch' ext. Yhen lead into what you put.

    One problem, I'm really fighting with approach anxiety when out solo. It's horrible.
     
    James likes this.
  11. James

    James Host

    Not a problem; is to be expected. But it gets better. Same as public speaking.
     
  12. Tom

    Tom Active Member

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    Good to hear. When I can approach freely, ultimate abundance. Can't wait.
     
  13. Fundinn

    Fundinn Active Member

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    Nice Tom. If you get someone to do day game with you, make sure you are just challenging yourselves and you are doing the approaches on your own. I don't believe girls are super comfortable when two guys are showing up. The best moments I've had were me solo versus a group. It takes guts, they know it, you know it. It's about cultivating a feeling of getting over failure and potential humiliation. Approaching on the defensive demonstrates having something to protect, which in turn means that were hiding something. Not good :), it's important to nurture the right mindset, a mindset of abundance and that it's totally okay if it bombs. I believe that no more Mr nice guy talks about coming from a place of abundance. Think of abundance in this way: "If it doesn't work out with you, it's ok, not only am I not invested because I don't know you, but I am confident and know that there are plenty of women out there that will find me interesting."

    Good attempt, but it's worth thinking of open-ended questions. The first impression I would get from such a question is: "Dude does not have his shit together!" :). I liked your question about asking for advice on the blazer, that one was brilliant. People love helping out.
     
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2017
    James likes this.
  14. Tom

    Tom Active Member

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    AAAh shit yeah! I see that now.

    Slowly getting to the abundance state of mind. My matches on tinder are now longer 'HOLY SHIT I GOT A MATCH, I CAN'T WAIT TO MARRY HER!!! HOW HOT WILL OUR KIDS BE??!?!?!' top more like a , nice, she seems decent.

    Cheers for the advice man. Makes a lot of sense.

    Have a good Christmas.
     
  15. Fundinn

    Fundinn Active Member

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    Hahaha, that can work... if you do it as a joke. You know Tom, you strike me as a funny guy, I think that it won't be long before you reap some serious results. Being able to not take yourself too seriously is a lethal weapon with women. Instantly kills any stress or tension.

    It reminds me of another technique, where you consciously act like a fool to realize how defective some of our patterns are. I believe that this is also covered in No More Mr Nice Guy.
     
  16. Tom

    Tom Active Member

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    Cheers man, means a lot.
     
  17. Gort

    Gort Robot

    Notification: Goal update is due.

    Please submit an update on your goal progress.
     
  18. Tom

    Tom Active Member

    Rating points:
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    Goal Update

    Ok, not much to report unfortunately guys. got tied up with family commitments and panic catching up on my work. So I'm sat at 4/48 approaches. This week is going to have to be heavy to catch up!
     

    Voting on this update has closed.

    James likes this.
  19. James

    James Host

    Let's see you make good on next week then. You did have a decent start. Maybe post a mid-week update this Thursday so we can yell at you if you're falling behind :). Let's smash 2018.

    A reminder to everyone (as there maybe seems to be more enthusiasm about positively rating a report than negatively) that there is nothing personal about an update rating. You're just acting as a jury of the facts; it's purely objective so the goal-setter can rely on you for accountability. So I'll admin-vote this update according to the rating guide.
     
  20. Gort

    Gort Robot

    Notification: The previous update has been rated.

    The score was: 2.00.

    Your next progress update will come due on Sun, 07 Jan 2018
     

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