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Improve my social groups

Discussion in 'Misc' started by Fundinn, Aug 26, 2018.

Goal: Spend the next month reconnecting with the right people and participating in specific events. by September 25, 2018 (finished)

 

Canceled

Member Fundinn commits to the following actions to achieve this goal

See post.

  1. Fundinn

    Fundinn Active Member

    Rating points:
    44
    Action points:
    207
    Result points:
    304

    Goal Approval

    I'm beginning to feel on the losing side of my relationships with different groups. I don't see any benefit in drinking and staying late at venues, the rewards are questionable. Other groups are settlers, they feel established and, unsurprisingly answer back with "not much" when I ask them what's new. I'm genuinely happy they found satisfaction in the mundane, but for the sake of keeping my life interesting I'd rather concentrate on connecting with people who have zest(pep). I see this as two phases; work with what I have & branching out into the unknown.

    First: Nurture my relationships with individuals I respect:
    • The mentor, whom I haven't been in touch with lately, but who's had my back in the past.
    • The lawyer friend, who demonstrates high levels of excellence.
    • My best friend from high school, who beat depression and grew as an individual.
    • Another friend who practically saved my life when I was a teen, pretty much forgot he existed until recently.
    • Set up a meeting with one of the CEO's in my company, get to know who's behind the title.
    • Talk to a women I know who's trying to build a life-coach business on the side. She's got a great heart.
    Second: To meet new people, it makes sense to get my ass out there with increased frequency.
    • Go to one meet up a week in activities that require some level of skill or aren't themed after fixing people.
    • Speak to a new face every boxing session during the week, ask them open-ended questions, be warm and friendly in the process.*
    • Take an hour a week to look at interesting events in town. Maybe build a filter so that I can see what's up at a glance. And obviously participate.
    • Find out how I could get a teacher or more feedback at the Zen Center.
    I've been holding back for a month on all these things, it's time to move.

    * Some chick said, a while back to a guy who knows me: "He's not that scary.", I have no clue why, but I look like a russian mobster on a mission when I'm shadow-boxing. I got a good laugh at that, but it also gives me a hint on what some people may think of me and what kind of first-impression I'm giving out.
     
  2. Shaney96

    Shaney96 Active Member

    Rating points:
    94
    Action points:
    634
    Result points:
    709
    I think a measurable goal for each part of this larger goal will help track your progress. Perhaps giving yourself small goals each week:
    - This week I will reach out to the mentor and try setting up a meeting with him within the fortnight.
    - I will go to a meetup this week.
    - I will speak to 2 new people at boxing this week.

    How will you determine if you've completed the goal by the 25th?
     
  3. James

    James Host

    Yes the goal isn't specific/measurable because we can't adjudge if it's been achieved.
    You've laid out the actions, but can you factor in what the desired end result is somehow?

    E.g. since the basis is "improve my social groups": as a result, get invited to (1 or x number) of get togethers / more exclusive events, or get a meeting with high-flyer X who is a contact of a contact.

    Or maybe you have other ideas as to how you could concretely declare "this is evidence my social groups have improved" had been achieved.
     
  4. Fundinn

    Fundinn Active Member

    Rating points:
    44
    Action points:
    207
    Result points:
    304
    Those are great points. Defining expectations actually helps me better know what I should be going for. And I just spent the last 15 minutes erasing my post, I believe that I was trying to 'massage' my existing relationships and then leverage them. I don't know if this will clarify points, but here's what I want out of my conversations with each peer:

    1. Mentor: Position myself as the point of contact for future web development work for his ventures. Expecting, in the future, he gets in contact with me.
    2. Lawyer: Ask specific questions on his work ethic, how he deals with external pressure and his rituals. Expecting, to learn something from him.
    3. Best friend: Improve my responsibility by being the one who invites him, decides of the location and the activity. Expecting to be proactive in my demeanor.
    4. Other friend: Learn about his current situation. Expecting that I invite him for activities and he does the same for me, to open our respective groups mutually.
    5. CEO's: Prepare questions and meet them to talk about entrepreneurship. Figure out if there's an opportunity for me to be assigned a 'soft-skill' task and to let them know my my intentions, of how they could help me grow as an individual. Expecting that they give me some work in that line or access to entrepreneurial events.
    6. The life coach: Have a coffee with her and exchange notes on what we do. Expecting that we can work on building a presentation for a event together.
    7. Meetup: Attend at least one meetup a week, learn about people. Expecting that I exchange contacts with interesting people and get invited into their world.
    8. Boxing: Same expectation as meetup. Figure out if anyone's kicking-ass in life and see if they can give me some leverage if it fits my needs.
    9. Filter: For starters, set it up. I have too many sources and I get disheartened because of the noise.
    10. Zen: Specifically ask for a teacher, so that I am challenged and redressed in my practice.

    They way I see the measurement, if I meet my mentor and don't talk to him about being able to fit the bill for his next venture in web development, I've failed. If I go boxing twice in the week and speak to someone, but don't get to know what they do, or if I do but fail to exchange contacts, then I fail. Etc.

    Thoughts?
     
  5. James

    James Host

    I guess you could make it "two positive social outcomes" as the goal. Such an outcome could be things like getting a regular meeting with the mentor/CEO, get a zen teacher, get to hang out with new people, do the presentation.
     
  6. Shaney96

    Shaney96 Active Member

    Rating points:
    94
    Action points:
    634
    Result points:
    709
    Yeah, as @James said, and continuing from your final point, actually getting multiple tangible social outcomes could be the goal.
    It's hard to measure, and I think a lot of it will be up to your judgement of your success, but definitely writing out your progress each week with each person(s) will help us determine how far you're coming toward achieving your goal.
     
  7. Fundinn

    Fundinn Active Member

    Rating points:
    44
    Action points:
    207
    Result points:
    304
    Fair points

    @James, should I submit a new goal, or is there a way I can edit the title and move the date? Kind of feels like this post was an extended brain storm!
     
  8. James

    James Host

    I'll admin vote to reject it; that should allow you to edit it & resubmit.
     
  9. Gort

    Gort Robot

    Notification: Goal was not approved.

    The community feels this goal is: not SMART. Please edit the goal and resubmit within 48 hours.
     
  10. Gort

    Gort Robot

    Notification: Goal resubmission expired.

    This goal was not resubmitted within the allowed time (48 hours), and has been cancelled.
     

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