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Intro

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by zanemwarwick, Jan 22, 2018.

?

Is this a good goal?

  1. Yes

    5 vote(s)
    100.0%
  2. No

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%

Goal: To challenge my thoughts at least once a day with the use of ‘Dysfunctional Thought Record’ taken fr by February 17, 2018 (finished)

100%

Closed

Member zanemwarwick commits to the following actions to achieve this goal

Whenever my thoughts are destructive and negative, I’ll use the Thought Record.

  1. Shaney96

    Shaney96 Active Member

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    RIP Gort
     
  2. James

    James Host

    o_O Guess I'll have to edit it in manually then. Gort's forgotten how to English.
     
  3. Gort

    Gort Robot

    Notification: Goal update is due.

    Please submit an update on your goal progress.
     
  4. Gort

    Gort Robot

    Notification: Update not submitted & Goal closed.

    Due to excessive failed update submissions, the goal has been closed.
     
  5. Shaney96

    Shaney96 Active Member

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  6. James

    James Host

    Well at least he logged in again, lol.

    At the moment I've probably got the most stringent forum registration process I've ever seen, demanding new registrants tick a bunch of "I've read and I commit" boxes, and promise to intro in 24 hours (which nevertheless less than 50% do).

    But still get guys like that Brazilian guy & that Indian guy who drive by, have a whine and make wishes, they get told "you'll have to do shit", and you never see them again.

    So probably need to tighten it even more somehow. Plan to do a new recruiting drive soon, after some new forum features get added, and want better "registration-to-guys-who-will-actually-do-shit ratio" this time. I'm thinking an "auto-prune" system that deletes any new registrants who don't follow through on registration promises.

    And as I think I've said, I'm still truly pleased about those few guys who have launched into the work and set accountability standards. In the future I'm sure there'll be a "Establishing Member" badge or something.
     
  7. Shaney96

    Shaney96 Active Member

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    Because people don't like being told what to do. Even if they know it'll benefit them, the ego's like "fuck that, ain't nobody telling me shit".

    Thought about creating a thread on AskTRP or even just messaging a few consistent contributors on TRP? I can't currently think of what issues this would cause. I feel that the community should definitely start expanding past the ~5 contributors we have currently.
     
  8. James

    James Host

    Yes definitely part of it. A think a lot of men are simply not able to submit to common-sense anonymous advice, even if it's self-destructive not to. I have no plans to high-horse on that matter, as I'm sure it's rooted in something natural, so it's up to me to discover/deduce any solutions that may exist.

    One technique I plan to be using in the near future (touched on in process section of the registration page), is the use of proofs/authorities. Instead of "you need to do X", these would then back up those claims. E.g. "as Stallone/Gates/Jordan did [citation], you need to do X", or "as proven in scientific paper [citation], you need to Y". Then those types would have to reach the level of ego of "not even Stallone (and his zero-to-hero life example) has the authority to tell me what to do", or "not even science can inform my course of action". It wouldn't be "my ego vs anonymous forum guy" it would be more "my ego vs reality".

    Won't be enough to convince everyone, but might get the ratios up.

    But I believe the core reason is that most people are not willing to do what it takes -- they're only willing to do just enough to placate the feeling that "I should do something about this". This is proven by gym membership sign-ups: it's very hard to find non-subscription based gyms, as they're banking on the fact that most customers show up in January, and then never again. For those customers, it wasn't about actually changing -- it was about doing the minimum psychological placation to get back to exactly as they were (physically and mentally). Same reason bookstores are full of self-help books -- sitting comfortably in a chair with a drink and reading a book accomplishes the same thing, with even less effort.

    Knowing this effect has certainly helped me personally in my goals, and can help others. You ask yourself "how will I attempt to weasel out of doing what it takes?". Then you make a list of those. For instance if it's a gym goal, the goal-setter could pre-empt: "1. I'll use the DOMS as an excuse why I can't go back for a week, and that will kill momentum. 2. I'll start finding reasons why I'm too busy to go to the gym. 3. I'll view the gym membership fee as 'I'm doing something' (which is false). 4. I'll keep reading about new routines." etc. They can also list how they'll avoid or respond to those behaviours. This allows people to head off their laziness better.

    Yes, it's included in the large stack of places I'll be targeting.

    Indeed, the plan is to go as large as possible. My beginning goal was to confirm that Gort was stable, which I'll now tentatively say is the case.

    Existing members are of course free to refer others here that they believe will be appropriate members.
     
    Shaney96 likes this.
  9. Tom

    Tom Active Member

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    I was going to ask about this. I've been lurking and posting under my new reddit account in the 'hopeless virgin, fat gaming addict' areas as I can relate and have some idea of what shit they think/do. Not to tell me them how to be a tank, just how I was them and what I've done so far.

    I've received some PMs but after a few messages back and forth they vanish before they've remotely set up any form of goal. Next time I'll tell them to man up and join this forum. Hopefully a few join.

    There will be askTRP guys for sure. But I think most are lazy lurkers. Will be interesting to see. I'll throw a few pms out to the driven but scared of the red pill.

    I agree 100%. I've been like that since I got rejected at the age of 15 and looked at my fat belly. I never did anything, just read and read and read.

    The sad thing is, come 30, shit will really start to hit some of the ones where luck never intervened and got them a gf/high paying job.

    Would be good for new members but this forum is currently like a online close knit support group, similar to what's mentioned in No more Mr Nice Guy, Which is pretty cool, but the forum has such potential and the lazy motherfuckers who leave really need it.
     
  10. Shaney96

    Shaney96 Active Member

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    Nice psychological trick there - it may work short-term, but the only way to make it work long term is to just cultivate a group of 'doers'; people who genuinely want it, rather than want to be tricked into doing things before getting bored half-way through after they realize the amount of effort they must put in.

    I agree - it will (hopefully) increase the amount of people who at least sign up and then there'll be a person who's genuinely up for the challenge.

    That's a great fucking method that I've not heard of before. It stops you bullshitting yourself and hamstering away - cheers for this gem.

    Most want 'quick wins', I believe.
    "This bird said x then did y, what can I say to get her reinvesting her energy into me?" See: quick wins...

    One thing I'm learning is that it's important to just focus on yourself. The most difficult thing I'm dealing with at the moment is being unable to reap direct, short-term rewards from the work I'm putting in. Since there are no birds in any of my day-to-day life, and work in an office with just guys, I reap nothing sexually/in regards to women, and my friend group is only growing very slowly.

    That's where discipline becomes important: too easy it is to say "ahh fuck it, what's the point". One must focus his energy in doing what's difficult and what is right. What is 'right' depends on what you have set for the future. This shit can usually be determined by doing something difficult then feeling better after doing it.

    Started reading self-development at 15? Damn man, you sound like you were way ahead of people in regards realizing you have the ability to change yourself.

    That's why I'm grateful for the shit I've faced so far and the blue-pilled world I was raised in: It helped me find TRP and wake up a little.

    It sure is, and if any of you fuckers (@James @Tom @Kostadin @Fundinn @Jack ) ever want a chat, drop me a message.
     
    Jack likes this.
  11. Tom

    Tom Active Member

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    Exactly where I am. I read about regular sex and its effect on boosting testosterone production and it made me get super agitated thinking of missing out on that.

    BUT, patience is needed. Keep grinding.

    Girlschase.com was my go to! The advice on there got me a date with a girl but I got scared and bailed xD But I wasn't happy, I wanted shit to change even back then. Always been tubby, always shy, always bashing video games and my dick. I think my drive now is just from 7 years of building rage!

    Same applies for me. If anyone wants a chat, I'm up for it.
     
  12. Shaney96

    Shaney96 Active Member

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    I've just accepted that I'm sexually frustrated. It's pretty obvious since I think about sex multiple times a day, and sometimes it ends up leaving me a little upset. I used to have the mindset of "I'll never have sex. No girl is able to find me attractive", and I sometimes feel that ego trying to kick it's way back every now and again, especially if I find myself getting lost in my mind.

    The other night, I was coming back from football and biked past my ex's house. I thought about how she used to say all this shit about wanting commitment etc., and how it'd take her much longer to get over me if we ever split, but yet she's getting filled with some other guys cum a few weeks after we split. This pissed me off quite a lot. But then I had a thought that I literally said out loud: "there are literally thousands of girls out there just waiting to be filled up with your cum." Quite a grotesque thought, but albeit a liberating one.

    Life doesn't forget your pains and struggles, whether that be rejections, gym work, whatever... for this pain permanently develops your character and pushes you toward being a more attractive male, and a man.
     
  13. Kostadin

    Kostadin Active Member

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    While I have nothing against the idea of "recruiting", my firsthand experience (my best friend...) of trying to get someone into self-improvement shows that test subject X would want to improve and have the genuine drive to do so only if he has experienced failure in both quality and quantity and he has realized that change is a must.

    Here is what I mean:
    X is your ordinary blue-pilled person. He has to go through hell in other to give up the ideas, otherwise a part of him would still believe that "the one" for example will show up someday, they are going to have kids, that she is going to be faithful... Try to put yourself in the position of X. If throughout your entire life you believed that being well-behaved, polite and putting others' happiness before yours is what is going to make all your dreams come true, how were you going to react of a bunch of people on the Internet told you that you have to do almost the opposite? There is a reason why all psychologists try to make their patients get to the conclusion themselves, even though in most scenarios 3-4 sessions are more than enough - the said patients could be easily told what's wrong with their lives and how to improve it. Sounds familiar?

    While TRP's sidebar is full of information and does the job of "awakening" well (at least in my opinion), a very small percentage of people will actually read it throughout and try to understand it and put it into practice. I don't know what is @James ' idea for the perfect size of the community, but I think we can all agree that, the greater the number, the more changes in the methods of both recruiting and introducing people to the actual thing (not just explaining them the concept, but also successfully persuading them that they give it a goal and that they try their best) need to be done, and of course, members of the community could (and I think should) be a part of this.

    As far as the idea of "feel free to PM me if you want to chat", I'm too absolutely up for it. By the way, the message system of the forum allows up to 6 participants, including the person who starts it, meaning that group conversations are also an option.
     
  14. James

    James Host

    Indeed, there's no point trying to help someone who doesn't really want to change. He can come back later when the pain builds up enough to force him to consider a new attitude. Unfortunately some of them find umpteen ways to numb that pain away, but that's their problem. GoGetters is for helping those who actually want to improve.

    This is basically the design. The goal system, backed up by Gort (who runs unforgivingly on the clock), forces the real world of "you have to take action - now" in peoples' face, and the anonymous peer-based approval and voting on action/results mitigates against people being able to bullshit. The onboarding will need to be improved a bit more I think, but given that more than 50% didn't even do an intro after they have to click to promise that, and it puts a banner at the top saying "do your intro", and these people were those who messaged me wanting in, I don't think it's the current issue.

    Few things in the works at the moment. After they're rolled out I'll do another recruit/market burst.
     
    Kostadin likes this.
  15. Tom

    Tom Active Member

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    Yeah, the acceptance and the frustration can be used for self development.

    Holy shit I'd never thought of this but you are right. No one gives a shit (well, not enough people for it to be significant) but they cannot escape the fact that you have improved. They will see and feel the improvement. The self improvement doesn't go under the radar, it hits people in the face.

    Take the British body builder Dorian Yates. He was nicknamed the shadow. He would grind out his gains out of sight and explode onto stage winning 6 Mr Olympias. His success was inescapable.

    You've fucking nailed it man.

    Some get lucky. Have a bit of action - 'See, I was fine to stay as I was'. As I said, those who don't.......
     
  16. Fundinn

    Fundinn Active Member

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    Doesn't sound like these people belong to the community... at least until they change their ways.
     
  17. James

    James Host

    Yes I'll be pruning all of those no-posters soon.

    The current theory I have on this is that most of what people do is "path of least discomfort". All of these types had to go through the checkboxes saying "yes I want to take action", they all said they were in low positions which is why they wanted to join, and then didn't even post.

    This seems inconsistent, but it's not. That would be taking people at face value. Really all they wanted to do was tell themselves "I'm doing something" just long enough to get to their next computer game or tub of icecream without feeling bad. They registered, there was no content for them to consume, i.e. they would actually have to do the mentioned work, and they were gone.

    It's actually been interesting to me, but a bit disappointing. I knew that most people don't want to change. But realizing that most of the people who say they want to change, also don't really want to change, has been a WTF.

    But it turns out it's a common thing. Indeed that group is the core market of scammers. They want improvement, but only if it's zero discomfort. So the scammer offers his scheme, his system, his one wierd trick. And they don't see it as a scam because they're not buying the product. They're buying the lie that they can improve without action, without hard work, without discomfort. The $300 on some ab gadget is far less discomfort than 3 sessions of gym a week and no icecream. The pickup artist DVD is less discomfort than what it actually takes to improve your odds with women. Buying the lie. Investing in and refurbishing the lie. "Action faking".

    If they actually wanted to change, it's actually very straightforward: just get biographies of great men who did it before, and follow their principles. But those principles universally included hard work -- so they're not interested.
     
    Shaney96 likes this.
  18. Tom

    Tom Active Member

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    It's crazy how it's ended up. Every single dude who posted an intro wasn't happy with a certain aspect of their life but they bailed before even attempting to change it. Kind of sad really.

    Basically me from 16-21.

    I've linked people on reddit this website who really needed help..... Nothing happened.
     
  19. Shaney96

    Shaney96 Active Member

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    It's about how much they're willing to go through to get to that place, rather than how much they want to be at that place - that's why I believe so many fail before even starting.

    It's also just so fucking common to be 'normal', to be common with everyone, to be fucking average. It's like, when I've approached people, or been with friends and they've thought me as weird for doing X or Y, it's because it's 'not normal'. What we do doesn't always fit in with what the average Joe's doing.

    It's so much easier to winge online and bitch about your life than it is to face the guy in the mirror and put in the work needed.
     

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