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Introduction & Goals

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Fundinn, Dec 19, 2017.

  1. Fundinn

    Fundinn Active Member

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    Hi, Fundinn here.

    Here is some background before I start talking about my goals / aspirations.

    My current reality is as follows: I am in my late twenties, jobless living at my mothers place. I have spent about 80% of my income(when I worked) into traveling. I always had this idea that investing in myself was more important than having material goods. I spent the last five years boxing, reading books and traveling. I would say that I am anti-conformist, I don't believe in working an 8 to 5 job and I would see that as wasting my potential. I graduated in software engineering and also joined groups for public speaking practice and meet-ups about making a positive change in our lives. I go out almost every weekend with an old roommate who somehow managed to consistently bring women home. I quickly made it clear that I had my issues with women and that I wanted him to give me tips. It's an on-going process, but I've learned a couple of things from him. I don't put him on a pedestal, but he gets results and that matters.

    As for my goals and aspirations here they are:
    1 - I want to build an online product(beta) by february that will generate an income stream.
    2 - I want to get my fitness back after a long backpacking trip.
    3 - Work on conflict-aversion*. I feel allergic to conflict.
    3.1 - Be clearer in relationships, have more relationships and be with quality women.*
    4 - I am inconsistent in approaching.

    * This is a big one for me, it's hard for me to deal with issues even if I know that it can alleviate a ton of misunderstanding later on.
    ** I've had nice opportunities with women, that I let go because I played the uninterested game too long. It's BS on my part.

    Tasks that are on-going and supporting my main goals:
    - Read one insightful book per two weeks. (I put an emphasis on practice so some books take more out of me).
    - Consciously demonstrate more assertiveness, nail it's definition into my head.
    - Been swimming 3 times a week.
    - I have a journal of any interesting interaction I have with women***.
    - Expand my network, touch base with old acquaintances.
    - Taking an intensive website building class on line to support this product I want to build.

    *** I don't care if their friends, potential partners or one night stands.


    Thanks for reading, I look forward to partaking in the community.

    P.S I realize I put a lot of stuff here, I will post in the brainstorming forums, but this is my current reality.
     
  2. James

    James Host

    Welcome, @Fundinn,

    Which area do you want to focus on first? Then we can brainstorm it, and turn it into a clear goal and action commitment.
     
  3. Tom

    Tom Active Member

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    Liking the journal man. I recently started a spreadsheet with my approaches. Feels good to get them down and away and allows for future reflection if needed.
     
  4. Shaney96

    Shaney96 Active Member

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    What's currently most important to you?

    By the sounds of it, I'd focus primarily on getting the income stream flowing and focusing on the application of the material you read. This 'application' can of course be things related to approaching and resolving your difficulties in handling conflict, so I advice reading some material along those lines (The Charisma Myth, HTWFAIN, The Power of Now could help, since conflict is never encouraged, but it takes a man to be able to keep frame, refrain from getting into the argument, and defusing it while making your point clear).
     
  5. Tom

    Tom Active Member

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    Try this video man. The kino vid to end all kino vids. Will help with being clear about your intentions in day game and first dates.

     
  6. Fundinn

    Fundinn Active Member

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    Hi James, as @Shaney96 astutely pointed out, I believe that getting a tangible product out is going to open the door to showing up at entrepreneurship gatherings, making pitches and meeting with incubators as well as potential clients. So that's my main focus.

    Hi Tom, you are absolutely correct. How is your shaped like? I try to be concise and then I write down what went well and what can be improved. For example:
    Saturday, December 9th 2017
    Went to a club for a DJ set. I danced with a girl and kissed her on the neck then grabbed her ass, but I was drunk, don’t remember too much. My super hot Chad friend quite possibly seduced her afterwards, I remember moving on I decided to scout around, didn’t see any potential.

    What went well: Met a girl and had physical contact with her.
    What needs improvement: Drink less, way less...
    Mentor Advice: “You hugged her like a teddy bear and gave her all your attention, create some distance bro. He said he had to fend himself cause she was all over him afterwards.”

    ... and thanks for the video.

    I read all of your suggestion three times each and made a presentation on the charisma myth haha. I also wrote an article on HTWFAIN. <-- I made a cheat sheet that hangs over my PC screen, available in the article. These are all great recommendations, thanks Shaney. I'm gonna put up my GoodReads library in my profile so people can have a look at what I've read.
     
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2017
  7. norbulak

    norbulak New Member

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    I am amazed by the fact that we still have to do so after the industrial evolution. Being a software engineer myself and knowing quite a few of them that think the same way I think that financial independence is key to getting out of the working class grid, be it through making your own business as you are intending to, or through smart investment. Here's a book I found very interesting on the subject : Early retirement extreme
     
  8. James

    James Host

    Great, in that case go ahead and open a brainstorming thread in Money, and we can brainstorm what action commitment that will take, and what the specific goal should be.
     
  9. Tom

    Tom Active Member

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    Damn, yours reads well. I have what type of interaction (date, approach ect), how it ended (number, kiss ect), comments. But I'm going to split the comments as to how you did it. Then I have date and what happened after (texting, 2nd date ect).

    From what I read it sounded like you got that girl horny and your mate capitalised on it? Never done night game but from:

    ...I got that impression. I guess game is brutal.

    bruh..... xD

    Sounds like your night game isn't too far off regardless. Isn't some advice to go round chatting up other girls then back to the original girl?
     
  10. James

    James Host

    It's because our consumption levels go up to match. Truth is, if you chose to live like people pre-industrial revolution (e.g. no electricity, phones, consumer electronics, cars, holidays, taxis, etc), you can work one or two days a week and get by. But we want those goodies. Yes, becoming an owner is the key to financial independence, but really financial independence just means "rich" or "a little rich + frugal".

    Really it's a trade-off. Businessmen are typically working 70+ hours per week to get their business of the ground, and once it's off the ground they're working 70+ hours per week to keep it off the ground, and to attend to their new responsibilities. Even Elon Musk, who's already baller rich, says he works 80 hours per week. The benefit is that "the flywheel is heavier and the upside higher" (downsides too). Once the employee leaves his office, the money stops. Once the businessman leaves his office, the money is still coming in at the same rate, even when he's sleeping. And one day, the businessman can simply stop working if he wants to, his business assets paying for him & his family, and just do a bit of maintenance work here and there. But to get there he was to work like a machine.
     
  11. Fundinn

    Fundinn Active Member

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    It's inconsistent right now. I'm at a 25% success rate* when I go out. Although my #1 priority is to make sure my friends and I have a fun time.

    *One out of four nights I will have a good time with a girl, but perhaps not leading to a lay.


    I'm wary of workaholic tendencies, although it sounds better to work 70+ hours a week for your vision than for someone else's. I've revamped a complete system for a shampoo company last year. Was paid 30k, but the value of the work was estimated at around 200k. All of my the friends I graduated with are making good money right now, but when we meet every year I feel like something is off. They make more money and spend more money and they are tied down with down payments of houses, a new car and long commutes that give them zero time to do anything else but work. Anyways, I respect their decision, they are good friends.

    Thanks for the book suggestion, added to my list! There's another book on my radar right now called Your money or Your life. As far as what our industry thinks, I'm at the point where I'm changing my network to doers or people who have made it happen. Going into the trenches and I don't care if I get out of there half-alive. It's about personal fulfillment and adding value to the world, those are aspects that I am willing to wake up at 5AM for.
     
  12. James

    James Host

    I read the summary of that book and I like the philosophy of it; has a very strong focus on accountability in the area of money.

    All of that in that video is fine, but for a guy who's already comfortable starting interactions with women. Trying stuff in that video like the hand on the neck, or hugging a girl you just approached in the day or holding her hand after a handshake, or the double hands stuff, is "running before you walk". It's for more confident (experienced) men like himself, not for beginners. Beginners trying that are more likely to come off super awkward or even freak out the girl ("some guy came up to me on the street the other day and put my hand on his neck? wtf?").

    In my opinion, it only takes a small amount, nothing fancy. You only need enough touching, at some point in the interaction, that the following is met:
    • You screen out a girl who would have no interest. If you're walking with her, and you give her a small touch on the back, and she responds by talking a clear step away from you, that's a pretty solid "nope". But if she'll let you rub her back, without retracting or looking uncomfortable about it, or even looks a little happy about it, that's a "yep" she wouldn't say with words. And obviously there's shades in between.
    • You let her know that this is a guy-girl thing, not an interview, and you getting physical with her is on the table.
    That's just small touches like on the back, knee*, hand. Pushing beyond that has its place (obviously very much so in a place like a club), but later on when you're at least comfortable with the basics.
     
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2017
    Fundinn and Tom like this.

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