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Introduction

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Niko, Aug 8, 2018.

  1. Niko

    Niko New Member

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    Hello people,

    let me start this post about how I think that this is a wonderful idea for a website. I'm sure I only scraped the tip of the iceberg by only writing the introduction and I'm looking forward by working hard and achieving my goals.

    So, I'm a 23 year old male from Europe, who feels that life is passing him by, but he does not do anything about it. I'm currently unemployed, for the last two months. I just got a degree in mechatronics, but I lack the experience and fortunately I know what experience I lack. I have a loving girlfriend, I'm well of financially, I still got some savings but I'm burning them fast.
    My main problem is that I become frustrated when I'm home, I'll get some stuff done on my to-do list for that day, but then I just procrastinate, and do the other stuff half-assed.

    So the main problem I would like to eliminate in procrastination, because I feel like it's dragging me back when I want to achieve my goals:
    • quitting porn, fortunately, I feel like I'm already doing a good job here, with a few ups and downs here, but it could be MUCH better,
    • quit mindlessly browsing the internet; I think this is a byproduct of procrastination, I browsed the internet and watched mindless, useless videos on Youtube for 3 HOURS today,
    • know when I can play video games; I don't have a problem with video games, I play them very rarely, in fact I love playing them, but the times I do play them, I always overplay them, meaning that they distract me from the important things.,
    • get better at kick boxing; I train in the regular, meaning 3 times a week, and I do weight training 2 times a week, but I want to build a better looking body and get more explosive with my punches and moving,
    • get a goddamn job; I want to get a job in my field that I know I'll like and not take the first thing that they throw my way, the problem here is that the job market is a little short these in my country days,
    • Learn more about electronics; I want to learn more about capacitors, diodes, transistors, soldering, all that stuff, that will help me get experience and a better job in the future.
    • Lose mild anxiety and depression; never got clinically diagnosed but I know for sure I got both, I lost my anxiety quite a bit because I worked as a bartender for 3 years, forcing myself in social situations. I still get depressed most of the time when I'm alone, though nothing serious, but it would be great if I lose it.

    So, that's everything that popped into my head for once. Thank you in advance for your answers and hospitality. Sorry for possible grammatical mistakes, English is not my first language.

    Niko
     
    James likes this.
  2. Shaney96

    Shaney96 Active Member

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    Welcome @Niko! I am hopeful that you will be an active member on this community and that it will serve you well to reach your goals; we all welcome you with open arms.

    I recommend reading up on Napolean Hill's talking about sexual energy, and how it's one of man's most powerful tools in how it can be redirected for productive means. There are tools/plugins that block porn sites, so these could be worth looking into. It all, however, comes down to discipline and seeing the forest for the trees.

    It sounds like some kind of reward system will help regulate your play time and help determine when you can play games. For example: every 4 hours I put into working, I may reward myself will hour of gaming.

    Have you considered seeing a therapist? Drop any egoic resistance and honestly consider whether seeing a therapist could help unbury anything unconscious that could be bringing you down.

    Looking forward to your contributions to the community, and the community's contributions toward your goals man!
     
    Niko likes this.
  3. Niko

    Niko New Member

    Rating points:
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    Hey @Shaney96,

    whoa, thanks for the quick reply.
    With Napoleon Hill's talking about sexual energy, do you mean the book Sex Transmutation? I already though about redirection of sexual energy and redirecting it, but I never gave it any extensive research and I do think I could do much more this way. I already have some plugins installed, but sometimes I still find a way around, lol.

    Hey, that is a great system, I was always like: "I'll play some video games when I'll do all my work." And then I always end up not playing video games at all or playing them before my work, which is destructive because I lose all my drive. Will give your 4 hours : 1 hour system a try.

    I went to a doctor because of minor (what I think were) heart pains in December and they put me on x-ray scan, electrocardiography and they took my blood but found nothing. My doctor recommended a therapist, after I told him that I think would be a good idea, and he agreed with me.
    I will see a therapist after I get some real money.
    But I started dealing with stress a bit better now, I meditate, do yoga and am more mindful and try stay out of my head in social situations.

    Thanks again for everything, Niko.
     
  4. James

    James Host

    Welcome aboard, Niko.

    This sounds like the core issue.

    The porn, net browsing, games, and anxiety & depression are likely flowing from this.

    Anxiety is a reasonable response to uncertainty towards starting a career, and depression to feeling of lack of ability to succeed.
    The porn, browsing, and games, are a result of all the free time and lack of purpose.

    Would you agree your fundamental problem is you're not sure how to proceed next? How to start a career, to provide a central anchor to your week and secure an income?

    If so, perhaps you can let us know a bit about the "big three":
    • What are your passions / interests? You mentioned electronics, but what originally made you choose your degree? What was your vision of it, that made you decide to do it?
    • What are your skills / aptitudes? What are you good at, or what is easy for you to learn?
    • What does the market in your area need? What type of work comes up most often on job boards? What are the major industries in your region that have hired engineers from your field before?
     
    Niko likes this.
  5. Shaney96

    Shaney96 Active Member

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    I just recall reading a part of (I believe) Think and Grow Rich that mentioned this concept, however, it may indeed be Sex Transmutation, but I've never heard of that book. I read the segments online, hence my lack of assurance.

    @James seems to have put the spotlight on the core issue; focus time on getting a job after you've found exactly what it is you enjoy and can be paid for. How will you have time to work your way around porn-restricting plugins if you've got a job to do and hobbies to pursue?
     
    Niko and James like this.
  6. Niko

    Niko New Member

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    Hello James,

    First of all, sorry for the long time to answer, had a bunch of stuff to do and sleep. :)

    although I enjoy my so to say forced free time at home, being able to go with friends for drinks and so to say almost whenever I want etc. On the other hand, uncertainty and anxiety about the future and steady income are the real culprit here. So, I agree, although depression and anxiety have been an issue for me, since I was around 14/15, again, nothing serious but they were still an inconvenience. I say nothing serious because I have cured myself a good measure of my anxiety, I made a lot of progress by taking action myself over the past few years.

    So, to sum it up, I do agree with the fundamental problem that you stated.

    To start with the big three:
    • passions / interests: Electronics were not really a passion, so to speak. This degree was only one from the limited choices that I didn't mind doing and where the job market is supposedly plentiful. But still it wasn't enough motivating to actually go to lectures with interest. But now that I'm playing with electronics with myself at home, I can actually see that I'm slowly developing interest.
      So now to the actual passion/interest part: The thing I like the most is researching history, I mean for example, I could get lost for hours reading in and researching about a battle that happened in world war 2; Then there are martial arts, a thing I'm not the best at, but I do enjoy the cardio that comes with it and the training with the people there; with martial arts, it's working out in general.
    • skills / aptitudes: The thing I'm best at is English (even if you can't see it right here, lol) and to some extent German, I can learn languages with ease, if I invest some time and effort into them. I never really went as further as learning some Spanish, but then other things got in the way.
      I'm more or less disciplined, if I do say so myself, I do the most urgent tasks every day, as well as get up at 5 am every day (except for weekends)
      and do meditation and a yoga session, then depending if I have boxing training or not in the afternoon I go workout. I try and do eat fish and vegetables every day, because they make me feel good.
      I'm very self-initiative. Despite the post here made me look like I don't know what to do with my life, I am taking action to solve my issues. Since I was unemployed I've been bettering myself, and looking for more ways to better myself, hence the post here. In short I am good at taking action, making the first step, but then I lose motivation in some time until it comes back.
    • market: My degree is very employable, the reason why the job market is scarce for me, is because almost everybody is searching for experienced workers (duh), which I lack of in my field of work. I did already say no to a couple of jobs, because they had conditions that I didn't really agree upon. So the reason I'm unemployed is probably mainly me, although I do think it's because of summer vacations and really not that many people are looking for employees right now.

    Thanks for cooperating, Niko
     
  7. Niko

    Niko New Member

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    I'll read segments online too, there probably is a lot of material out there. Still have a bunch of books I bought, that I want to finish reading, lol.
    Thanks for this source.

    And I agree with both of you, first two replies on this forum for me, and you've been very positive and more then helpful, thanks for this. :)
     
  8. James

    James Host

    Not quite; it appears that everyone wants experienced workers, because that's what they list on job boards. But that's because they use job boards as a last resort, and unemployed experienced workers (who want work) are hard to find. Basically they treat job boards as wish lists.

    The number one thing they care about for new workers is enthusiasm. Old workers have the knowledge, young workers have the energy. Therefore you need to present a convincing case that you're enthusiastic, which would be indicated by your knowledge of the field that company works in, what you do in your spare time (that's related to that field), what you imagine doing in that field, etc.

    Just make sure the conditions you say no to are forward-thinking. Avoiding starting in a dead-end job is very important. However if the conditions are just harsh in the work sense (long hours, maybe have to travel around), it's better to take them, because as a new worker it will strengthen you and you will pass your peers quicker.
     
    Niko likes this.
  9. Niko

    Niko New Member

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    I never heard the phrase of employers treating job boards as their wish list... and I think it's brilliant, it gave me a little new perspective.
    I did the enthusiasm part right on my past job interviews and I do have a couple of hobbies that can relate to the type of job I am looking for. They actually asked me two times if I did anything related to what I was applying for and were visibly even more interested.

    That about a dead-end job I agree, but it's good if you know that you won't do this forever. You can search for other jobs while you get income. I always ask my interviewer about what are my options for career advancement (or a promotion for that matter). And I do agree that long hours and traveling around is necessary for advancement, though I don't wan't to "live to work".
     
  10. James

    James Host

    Exactly. I've even known people take many interviews a year despite not wanting a new job. Just to keep an updated picture of the job market. And it's done them well in the long run because they always know what they're worth and how to become worth more.

    The main thing to aim for with a job is: how will it level up my skills. Your financial strength 5 years from now will depend on how much in the way of marketable skills you've built up.

    This is why it is important to: (1) find out what industry trends are, you you're on the right wave, and (2) choosing a job based on whether it will force you to build specific valuable skills, even if it pays less than other jobs or has worse conditions, because in 5 years you'll be being headhunted for twice what you make at the beginning.

    The most dangerous jobs are those that dissipate you, e.g. bounce you around different roles or different types of projects. Run from any company that mentions in the interview that you will be rotated around different departments or projects. This prevents you leveling up your skills in a meaningful way versus your peers, and therefore dead-ends your career. You ideally want to be focused on one valuable area for the entire 40 hours a week for the entire duration of your time at that job.
     
    Niko likes this.
  11. Niko

    Niko New Member

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    I think this is a good technique for ones career future, but I don't think you could really afford to do this to many times in my country. You see, I come from Slovenia, a country that's about the size of Massachusetts which has about 2.000.000. inhabitants. So basically in my region people know people, word gets by fast because someone knows someone that knows someone. You would think I'm being paranoid, but I had it happen on an interview once.
    I didn't mean to discredit your advice, I think it's good. I was just stating my 2 cents.

    You think that's a valid question to ask at an interview, like: "What skills will I gain from working here?" Or is it to risky?
    And I can totally agree with the financial strength part.

    To answer number 1, everyone is just looking for somebody with basic knowledge, maybe some experience in my field, but like you said. The stuff written on boards are just wish lists.
    And number 2, I can totally agree upon, except for the worse conditions part, I can handle a lower paying job if it means that I'll develop new skills and/or make the old ones grow.

    Thanks for pointing that out. At first I would have taken this for a good thing, e. g. building new skills in the short run. But it will probably lead to me being more stressed, maybe developing some skills but nothing concrete and then probably forgetting most.

    I just wan't to add that it's a pleasure discussing these things with you. You are a wise person. If it's not a secret, what do you do for a living?
     
  12. James

    James Host

    Ask the adjacent question: what your role will be, what you'll be working on. If they mention one specific clear thing: green light. You can infer the skills you will gain by working in that. If they don't have a clear answer, don't know, give a broad answer, or mention a laundry list of things: red flag.

    That's classified :cool:
     
  13. Niko

    Niko New Member

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    2
    Man, that laundry list part. An interviewer once never had a clean answer to almost anything. So glad I didn't took that job.


    Haha, the answer I expected. :)
    Alright, James. Thank you for all the advice. Thanks to you and @Shaney96 I gained some well needed insight in these 2 days. Wonderful job you are doing on this forum.
     
  14. Fundinn

    Fundinn Active Member

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    Welcome Niko!

    I was telling this to a friend recently and that's the truth. Best way to know how much your worth and to negotiate a raise. I believe LinkedIn is a great way to get head hunted as well.

    I thought the same way, but I got a job in a low-hiring period when all the students had just begun their semester. The company in question was hiring aggressively because they were expanding their operations, that's something that happens outside of what we consider as "hiring period". I really like Indeed for searching work, you can apply directly without going on the employer's website.

    Otherwise I agree with James, finding a job could probably solve issues of time-wastage and porn consumption. Although I've seen cases where that didn't happen, but it doesn't fit your profile.
     

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