1. GoGetters Community is no longer actively maintained, and will be closing down in the future. Thankyou for your participation in this project. [ Details ]
    Dismiss Notice

Brainstorming Operation: sort my life out

Discussion in 'Misc' started by Tom, Jul 30, 2018.

  1. Tom

    Tom Active Member

    Rating points:
    108
    Action points:
    261
    Result points:
    221
    I am not attracting girls.

    Sure I've definitely attracted 2 girls in my life who I dated for 2-3 weeks. One fizzled out as we mutually ghosted, the other I had to let down as she was ringing me 6 times a day and was 30lbs plus over her picture. 'Lower your standards bruh' I tried to like the 6 time caller girl, I just couldn't. She ended up in a relationship 2 months after, girl was too keen.

    So, this puts the onus on me to improve my SMV to attract the 6-7's that I've had some tinder first dates only to be calling the ghost busters 2 days after.

    There's a common mantra of 'build it and they will come'. Lets put this to the test. An intense 1 year long personal development so I will be unrecognizable by the end of it. i was thinking of putting it under one goal but running the goals in stages and they run after the other.

    Essentially I'm thinking:

    Before I go into the stages I need a mission statement I guess. My mission that doesn't include girls, but something to aim my life towards. in the near future, decent body, decent wardrobe stacked in a bad ass room, living comfortably with a growing social circle, setting the scene to move out with a turbocharged social life and the skills to utilize this accommodation.

    Stage 1: this will initiate after my holiday. I need to upgrade my bedroom, get a job and lose weight. Weightloss is just cruising now so I'l just keep it slowly burning in the background. A vague centre line of a 2 pack as emerged. Probably about 10 more lbs to go and I'll start actually looking lean.

    I'll spend an hour minimum on my room (tidying, clearing shit out, looking for new furniture ect.) every day. I plan to run a a black metal theme with green LED's as I think it will look sick. One wall grey the rest white. Obviously days of painting will take more time. I will provide pictures.

    I will spend minimum an hour a day on job hunting/prep.

    I got involved with a girl and her group at a meetup so will just go with the flow on this. I like the girl but I'll just roll with it. See what happens.

    Stage 2: Social life.

    Develop rock solid inner game, unphased by any rejection. Hard to prove/measure but perhaps 15 minutes of mediation a day can some positive affirmations can be tracked.

    Buy a killer wardrobe.

    Really go to town on my Instagram. Already started this. Candid topless photos, cool hiking spots ect. Will force me to get out. Coupled with this, go hard into my hobbies and interests. Try new stuff ect.

    Social life plus some light dating on the back burner. Meetups, eventbrite and dating apps. Tinder, bumble, okcupid and one other random one that I feel like. Spend about 30 minutes sorting those out a day. Coupled with my revamped insta, body, wardrobe and bedroom, will be interesting to see how this pans out.

    Stage 3: Adult. I plan on spending at least a year at home saving money and living comfortably buying a few things I've always wanted. I found uni hard and and I didn't really do anything so want tio do that stuff I missed out on in the financial comfort of living at home.

    I'll probably take 2 years at home, working, saving and buying a few cool things.

    Then it's time to move out and drop a supercharger into my dating life with a flat hopefully very near a major city centre, using my own place to finally not scare girls off. I'll be about 25/26 and hopefully hitting my prime.

    I'll have built it, will they come?
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2018
  2. Kostadin

    Kostadin Active Member

    Rating points:
    159
    Action points:
    337
    Result points:
    270
    TRVE KVLT
    Just don't make the room too scary, in case you manage to get a girl back to your place. ;)

    It looks nice and all, but I have to question one thing: Are you sure that the time you spend on dating apps will be justified by success? I mean, you'll first have to try, but I think you should keep a close eye on whether it's worth it or not. Spending 2 hours on those apps, instead of sleeping probably isn't the best idea ever.
     
  3. James

    James Host

    Yeah I think your analysis makes sense, including in your result post, and your plan is sound. It sounds like you're not hitting girls "minimums to entertain as a suitor" (but that one girl brought you along as a friend, meaning: "at least meets my minimum as a potential suitor for one of my friends", so getting sharp is a good next step.

    Long term plans are fine, but avoid concurrent wish lists or laundry lists. Action is subject to the power law: results from 4 hours of A and 4 hours of B are not equal to results from 8 hours of A, it's more like the results of 6 hours of A or less. Concentrated, focused action is what allows breakthrough, not dissipated action.

    Therefore you should seek to smash one thing at a time with total focus, and starting with something you can accomplish as soon as possible. That has the highest potential speed of achievement, versus doing a bit of each every day, which is second only to not doing the things.

    My guess as to the order you should follow:
    1. Restore order to your room. If it's a mess, you're a mess. This could be accomplished in one vigorous evening.
    2. Get the job. Can be quite rapid if there's demand for your field, or alternatively if you hit it hard with techniques beyond the bare minimum your peers will do (just sending resumes).
    3. Blast the weightloss, since it's acting as a blocker for upgrading your wardrobe. Could somewhat be blended with (2) since causes a different type of exhaustion.
    4. Upgrade the wardrobe
    5. After everything else, upgrade the room. This is just a hobby and can't hit any current tangible action points (no marginal return) until the rest is done.
    If you build that, and ask them to, they will.
     
  4. Fundinn

    Fundinn Active Member

    Rating points:
    44
    Action points:
    207
    Result points:
    304
    That can work. I'll tell you something about my friend, who was my roommate last year. He had sex every week with a different woman and two girlfriends. He had his own issues, for example a deep nested, ambiguous hatred for women and he felt like sex was a mechanical act(+ some kind of melo-dramatic depression). He was practically broke, made one meal for the whole week and otherwise lived off of his dates and had the worst room in the apartment. Basically 100 square feet and an elevated single-person bunk-bed, the whole room was also a mess.

    He really got me thinking about what it was he was doing. The only reasonable answer I could find was his good looks, his sensuality and his deep masculine voice. He was pretty romantic, writing letters to heart-broken girls and all that jazz.

    So I'm on the fence with the whole, "I'll change everything that's outside and attract the girls" policy. You did speak of improving game, that implies internal change and that's probably where the money lies(Stage 2). I wouldn't follow my friends example, he's got heaps of troubles in other areas of his life, but he did demonstrate skills in something a lot of average men struggle with.

    Just make sure you checkout yourself out and don't devote more time to Stage 1 and 3 because even if all stages represent work, they are easier than Stage 2. We wear many hats every day, and some of us are guilty of wearing one or two hats and avoiding the others for too long.
     
    James likes this.
  5. Tom

    Tom Active Member

    Rating points:
    108
    Action points:
    261
    Result points:
    221
    Oh woops sorry mate I meant furniture that is black metal for example my computer desk and shelving units. Then I can install green LEDs to a few things for a badass green glow. Hoping it will look awesome!

    You are 100% right. Online dating to get decent returns can be a big investment, although I learnt a lot from my last stint and should be able to have it as a fairly well oiled machine running in the background to my other goals and dating.

    @James, I agree. I am getting a slight foot in the door but nothing happens from that.

    I also like the order. I could do a week long goal to get my room really clean. Deep cleaning everything, walls ect. Don't get me wrong it's not disgusting, just could be a lot nicer.

    Ties in with what @Fundinn says, do all the work to improve, but you must still pursue in dating.

    Agreed with everything you've said @Fundinn .

    Thanks for the input bois.

    I'm away for a bit now, will still have wifi so I'll contribute to other people's stuff and be setting up a goal after I'm back.
     
    James likes this.
  6. Fundinn

    Fundinn Active Member

    Rating points:
    44
    Action points:
    207
    Result points:
    304
    Btw Tom, I want to acknowledge your attitude in all of this. You keep your head up and are willing to go the extra mile, props to you.
     
    James likes this.
  7. Shaney96

    Shaney96 Active Member

    Rating points:
    94
    Action points:
    634
    Result points:
    709
    Fair play man - that's a lot to work on. I fear you may get overwhelmed at some point, so meditation and taking a step back every now-and-again may help. I also like what @James said regarding on blasting one thing at a time - I think this tactic will help motivate you also, as you'll see tangible results quicker.

    This sounds like what the friend did, and still had an abundance of internal problems. Doesn't seem to be a healthy long-term solution by any means.
     
    James likes this.
  8. Tom

    Tom Active Member

    Rating points:
    108
    Action points:
    261
    Result points:
    221
    Cheers man, appreciate it.

    Agreed. I think one thing that can push me back to video games is getting burnt out and taking a big rest where video games happen.
     
  9. Tom

    Tom Active Member

    Rating points:
    108
    Action points:
    261
    Result points:
    221
    Update:

    I've been back from Spain for a bit. When in Spain I got an email saying I start as a temp at their company as soon as I return, so I've done my first week there. There's a possibility it may be permanent if they stay busy, but damn they're busy. I'll leave getting a permanent job until I know more.

    Just dropped a fat wedge on a deposit for a car. Thought fuck it, I went to uni with the materialistic but personal to me goal of buying a fiesta st. I'm now waiting to pick it up and pay the final dollar. Obviously the savings burnt need replacing. I aim to save 50% of my eranings whilst being at home, saving for a flat.

    The girl I mentioned before going away is awesome and it seems to be going well. no idea where I stand so that needs addressing when we next meet. Either through actions or words.

    Getting leaner, although I postponed the diet to have good focus at work. Diet will sart soon.

    i think it leaves my room. I'll set up a goal for that.
     
    Kostadin, Shaney96 and James like this.
  10. James

    James Host

    Interesting developments! Keep us updated

    Best to keep pressure on that company by continuing to interview in the mean time. Even if you like the company, having a competing job offer gives you bargaining power. Sometimes "there's a possibility" can last for a long time if you don't force their hand.
     
  11. Tom

    Tom Active Member

    Rating points:
    108
    Action points:
    261
    Result points:
    221
    That's a good point actually. Another thing, the boss has said I can have time off for interviews. Possibly a hint it really is temporary?
     
  12. James

    James Host

    Never heard of such a thing; so yes. Sound like pussy-footing time wasters.
     
    Tom likes this.
  13. Tom

    Tom Active Member

    Rating points:
    108
    Action points:
    261
    Result points:
    221
    Just got a job interview for another job, I'll have to ask the boss for time off for it, that will at least make him think what he wants to do with me.
     
    James likes this.
  14. Fundinn

    Fundinn Active Member

    Rating points:
    44
    Action points:
    207
    Result points:
    304
    I don't know why, but I laughed at this, man, when you get a whiff of shit and you ring the BS alarm. Why even bother trying to recruit someone with that message.

    @Tom, good luck.
     
    James likes this.

Share This Page