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Goal Spin 2 Plates

Discussion in 'Women' started by Shaney96, Aug 19, 2018.

Goal: I will spin 2 plates. by January 1, 2019 (finished)

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Canceled

Member Shaney96 commits to the following actions to achieve this goal

I will spin 2 plates by 01/01/19. This will be achieved through interacting with 10 different girls per week, 5 of which should be interactions started from a daygame direct approach.

  1. Shaney96

    Shaney96 Active Member

    Rating points:
    94
    Action points:
    634
    Result points:
    709

    Goal Approval

    In Layman's Terms:
    I will be in sexual relations with 2 girls simultaneously. I will achieve this by interacting with 10 different girls a week - 5 of these interactions should come from direct daygame approaches. The goal must be completed by January 1st, 2019.

    Spinning Plates?

    Spinning plates refers to being in sexual relations with 2 or more girls simultaneously. The theory is that, once you start spinning a plate, it keeps itself spinning, and only you can choose (through conscious action or through your mistakes) to drop the plate. It sounds taboo to the Average Joe, and used to sound so for me, also. It's something I always considered unattainable, but I now appreciate that the power to achieve what you desire is in nobody's hands other than your own.

    An Interaction?
    An interaction will count toward the weekly goal (10 interactions, 5 of which should be from direct daygame) if:
    - I directly approach in the daytime. The keyword here is direct, meaning that I must be direct with my intention. Indirect approaches will also count, but the direct approaches also count toward my goal of 5 direct daygame approaches. This is to get me further outside my comfort zone and help me realize the freedom and power I have over whom I interact with, and should also help in my overall confidence. The direct approach may result in an instant rejection, and will still count.
    - I indirectly approach in the daytime/nighttime. Indirect approaches may be asking for directions, asking for an opinion, making a reference to the current ongoings in the immediate surroundings, etc.. The indirect approach may result in an instant rejection, and will NOT count. The interaction must last at least a minute.
    - I go on a date using online dating. I'm pretty sure my score in Tinder's algorithm is totally fucked, and I also greatly dislike the online dating dynamic, so I doubt I'll get any interactions through here. Talking for days on an app does not count, the interaction must result in face-to-face communication.
    - I meet people through friends, societies, my Uni course, etc.. Basically everything else (unless I'm missing something). These interactions must simply last more than a minute or two for them to count as an interaction. Although I may not get anywhere there and then, a few minutes is all that may be needed to plant a seed of intrigue.

    When are you Spinning a Plate?
    I guess this is totally dependent on the individual's definition, so I'll just go with: To have had sex with a girl more than once within a month. I dunno, this is a pretty loose definition and a girl could easily qualify as a plate if you've only fucked her once in the last 2 years as she lives in a different continent but constantly messages you. Fuck know; the definition isn't important. If I fuck 2 different girls by next year, I've tripled my 'n-count', so that'd be something in of itself.
     
  2. Gort

    Gort Robot

    Notification: Goal approved!

    The community voted to approve this goal as Doable and SMART.
    Now, do your best to succeed! Your next progress update will come due on Sun, 26 Aug 2018.
     
  3. Shaney96

    Shaney96 Active Member

    Rating points:
    94
    Action points:
    634
    Result points:
    709
    So far 0 interactions. I seem to have put too much on my plate. I think I need to re-evaluate how I approach these goals. Since I've moved back, I've been trying to re-establish old habits and incorporate new habits. I've gone from waking up whenever, meditating and doing whatever I feel like, to waking at 06:30, meditating, then I have a To Do list I fill out for each day. I put a good few hours worth of things on there, but it all feels like work. I don't mean to complain, and I keep telling myself it's just my lack of discipline - which is true - but why keep setting myself so much to do and then missing things out?

    The first few days of moving in I was getting everything done, now I feel burned out after a few hours. I do my tasks and then it's "ah man, now I've gotta bike to the gym", and then even the consideration of having to then cycle into the city and cold-approach makes me feel apprehensive.

    The truth is that I think I wanna have plates. I don't know why, but I guess not being laid in a year and thinking so much about it makes it feel like a necessity. Perhaps it's more important than the other habits I'm trying to establish. I signed-up - and took the first two lessons - of this beginners boxing course the other night, and one main motivation for it was to just fucking meet people. I ensured I got speaking to as many people as possible, and asked questions as I was sparring with different people. I felt better afterward. One habit I'm trying to establish is to play guitar. But when I time myself for 30mins, it feels like work. Perhaps I should just try playing it once a day, not timed, and see how much I decide I want to play it for?

    Rather than have this huge to-do list, I may try having only a few goals: morning routine, gym, 2 cold-approaches - then reward myself if I complete these?

    I don't mean to just rant, as I am feeling a little hopeless with this. Thanks @James for your advice on my other goal regarding 'just keep going', and I am still going on with my cut as well as I hoped for, it's just I feel absolutely no ROI/reward after doing most/all things on my To Do lists.
     
  4. James

    James Host

    How often are you going to the gym? Usually you clump into hard long sessions say 3 times a week, reducing overheads (or 2 if you do epic sessions). Everyday is more for if you have a home gym. Usually in the evening: sleep follows, so it doesn't sap your day like morning workouts.

    It shouldn't be on the list at all. Got to be liberal with the delete key.

    What is on your list? As far as we're aware, it's only "interact with 2 women a day" plus "eat less and exercise more".

    You have to simplify it. Delete the guitar. You want to play it, and you feel "yeah I can play it on top of everything else", but this overwhelm is the result. of those bits and pieces adding up. You have to be ruthless. Focus hurts. Some days I've had to yell at myself "focus. task A. FOCUS. task A. go. FOCUS. task A. go". Forceably focusing until you become focused. Eventually you get used to it and it gets easier.

    You don't feel the reward, because of the timeframe. Us 1st worlders are wired for immediate pleasure. When we do something uncomfortable, and the result is simply that we did it, we feel "unrewarded". This is the same reason a heroin addict becomes a useless human being, because after the heroin, that immediate maximum pleasure, nothing else seems worth it. One way this has manifested itself is in TV ads about "to reward myself". As in the action should be followed by a treat, like a dog. Then you get the cliche of someone going to the gym and then eating cake after because "they've earned it" -- an absurd failure to remember why they went to the gym in the first place.

    So that has to be rejected as factually false, regardless of the emotion. The action is the reward, based on the concept of self-esteem and "the right thing to do". The payoff for these goals is in 3 months, not 3 hours, so emotion must yield to reason. So it takes training to push that back. Thinking ahead, focusing on self-respect etc.

    Incidentally it's why I dislike and avoid "mindfullness" stuff, because it forces focal point to the present. But focal point, especially for us over-indulged 1st worlders, should be at least 1 to 2 months in the future at a minimum, whenever it's not focused on a present work task.

    It can't be true it's due to other engagements though. An interaction only requires saying hi to 1-2 women, which takes 1 minute plus the overhead of going where women are, which you can incorporate with the other parts of your day.
     
    Kostadin and Shaney96 like this.
  5. Shaney96

    Shaney96 Active Member

    Rating points:
    94
    Action points:
    634
    Result points:
    709
    This routine is 5 times a week, which in content with; it's just incorporating boxing twice a week will be a jump for me.

    From 2 days ago. Today's wasn't so severe, with 19 points. Most of them are basic reminders and habits (nofap, wake at a certain time, don't overconsume calories, etc., but I guess just having them on paper overwhelms me and I need a different system to develop these habits).

    [​IMG]

    I'm thinking of changing my routine so I go straight into town after doing my morning routine, and not going to the gym until I've done 2 approaches.

    As I go about my day I don't bump into many girls; most students haven't moved back and I've no reason to cycle into the city (the gym is directed away from the city, more so than where I live), hence why I think I'll change my routine
     
  6. Shaney96

    Shaney96 Active Member

    Rating points:
    94
    Action points:
    634
    Result points:
    709
    I like this. Cheers for the advice man. I'll go about simplifying the shit out of the list. I feel I'm giving in to my vices more because I'm staying cooped up inside for most of each day, and this is having a negative effect on me mentally; along with not interacting with anyone/many people each day. Perhaps this is also why I write much on here: because I desire that communication with other people.. interesting.

    Anyways, I'll simplify the list to those 2 things each day, and may just write out the habits on a separate single piece of paper, simply to remind myself of things if I forget.

    I'll also try and stop debilitating myself by stopping doing things like: reading (just scrolling past them and reading the title more like) Field Reports (lay reports..) with girls, reading TRP, keeping myself inside for most of the day, plugging my earphones in at the gym.
    Cheers for the advice.
     
  7. James

    James Host

    Yeah that's too much for daily; massively dissipated.
    The cold shower & meditate is solid, many winners start the day with this. However given it's your routine, it doesn't really need to be on a todo list.
    Drop all the other x mins ones. If you really want to keep one, better 2 hours on a Sunday than 30 mins a day.
    Drop any limiters: anything with "no" or "no more than" etc. All it does is remind you. Those can be separate "standing orders" you have, or a habit list like you mentioned, but they aren't action items, so they shouldn't receive any focus. The most powerful way to stop something is to replace it.
    It also looks like you're still doing trading. It's something you're going to have to commit to a hiatus from. Each time a sale is fulfilled it's an external interruption with no marginal value, that scuttles your focus on the current pressing issues: women & body.
    Also yeah putting down the TRP and other "content" is wise. There's little further to be learned from there that you don't already know you need to do.

    Number one thing for tomorrow's todo list: when, where, how you'll do your 2 interactions (& keep it simple).
     
  8. Shaney96

    Shaney96 Active Member

    Rating points:
    94
    Action points:
    634
    Result points:
    709
    Cheers for the feedback - I'll make the adjustments from tomorrow and let reminders be elsewhere. I'll probably only include other day-/time-specific on the to do list; such as 'pub with X at Y', for example.

    Ha, you got me.
    Kind of: I've not purchased any clothing for a good couple of months, it's just I'm selling the odd bits. I intend to purge some more still.

    Yeah, I should eliminate other distractions from the forefront of my mind so only these two exist.
     
    James likes this.
  9. Fundinn

    Fundinn Active Member

    Rating points:
    44
    Action points:
    207
    Result points:
    304
    I do think you can feel worn out if you do this without a clear vision, like @James covered previously. That list is really big. It could feel like a mountain staring at your face as you climb it every morning; and it resets perpetually. Don't expect much, do it in it's original form, once you aim at something, it's not about you and your bike ride, and you or the gym session, it's about the process of riding and working out, which is really one thing; not you and it. There's an old zen saying I like a lot:
    Also, here's an excerpt from Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind:
    It's one of the few books I recommend to anyone who is establishing, changing or building up a lifestyle, it can give you a clear understanding of what happens when you have a shift in your mindset and which pitfalls you want to look out for. And by practice, this could be anything really. From meditating to doing the groceries and meeting a girl.
     
  10. Gort

    Gort Robot

    Notification: Goal update is due.

    Please submit an update on your goal progress.
     
  11. Shaney96

    Shaney96 Active Member

    Rating points:
    94
    Action points:
    634
    Result points:
    709

    Goal Update

    Interactions: 2
    From cold approach: 0/1.

    0/1?
    Girl at an ice-cream stand. When and told her I didn't want an ice-cream, but saw she looked bored so thought I'd come and say hi. Not really direct, but it was a start.

    Really shitty week. No idea why I'm feeling so much resistance to going out. Saturday evening I went for a walk and that's where I did that cold approach. I observed that there really aren't many people my age around currently, and those that are (that I saw anyways) were walking around as a couple.

    It's a numbers game, so this week I should just put myself in areas where girls are and I can actually approach. I don't think it's worth so much introspecting why I'm feeling this resistance etc., because that'd just be more mental masturbation. It's obvious that I'm scared of any success this may bring, but I appreciate it's imperative to push through these discomforts, for this is how I actually grow.

    I had an apprehension when travelling: "Man, I hope I can still approach when back in England." That anxiety is what I'm facing now. But, as I say, just gotta keep pushing.

    Interesting, but I'm struggling to understand what effect this collusion of 'actor' and 'thing being acted upon' can have?

    I had to read this a couple of times to understand it. I am right in interpreting thusly:
    You become discouraged from your practise if you've set unrealistic expectations upon yourself and are aiming for some idealized goal; and when this idealized goal is not met in a timely manner, you become frustrated at yourself. And you should be thankful for this discouragement, so you can take a step back and re-evaluate your goal?

    I'm just unsure what I'd change so I can become less discouraged, and more enthusiastic and determined.

    I'll have a look at that book though.
     

    Voting on this update has closed.

  12. James

    James Host

    All of the winners are using affirmations. Which they repeat every day, usually multiple times.
    This is where you passionately declare or chant what you are, what you're doing, what your mission is etc, beating your chest like a gorilla or screaming them if necessary. And if you note your demeanor when you're feeling discouraged and unenthusiastic, it's usually the opposite of that. Your mind follows orders.
    Affirmations is stuff like:
    I am the master of my destiny.
    I will easily plough through my day.
    I am the best lay women will ever have.
    I, Shaney, am a bad ass son of a bitch. People have to lock up their daughters to keep them off me.
    I am a monstrous triangle of muscle in the making.
    Etc. "Bodacious" is the basic standard.

    You could add this to your morning routine.
     
    Shaney96 likes this.
  13. Shaney96

    Shaney96 Active Member

    Rating points:
    94
    Action points:
    634
    Result points:
    709
    Thanks @James , I'll give this a go, honestly. I've never used affirmations and I can see it having potential in helping me understand where I'm going and why, and give me enthusiasm to get there. Cheers.
     
  14. Tom

    Tom Active Member

    Rating points:
    108
    Action points:
    261
    Result points:
    221
    i think there's definite scope to bring mindfulness into the day, outside your morning meditation. Easier said than done I know xD
     
  15. Shaney96

    Shaney96 Active Member

    Rating points:
    94
    Action points:
    634
    Result points:
    709
    Note:
    I didn't realise how much I've regressed until today; nor did I realise how much socialisation can help remedy a negative mindset and - this may be an overstatement, but holds true in regard to personal experience - a state of depression. Not to say I'm depressed, not by any means, but the act of simply talking to people tears away at anxieties we (I?) feed ourselves (myself?).

    Anyways, the above shit comes from me trying to just put myself in a social environment each day, with the intention of - you guessed it - socialising. Yesterday it was at the supermarket, today it was my first time looking around town. I made small talk with one attractive cashier whom I used to work with. I also bought The Rules of The Game, with the sole intention of doing the 30-day challenge. This is for accoubtability and - because this site is obviously a means of accountability - gives me a structure to work upon.

    Today I realised what I wrote in my opening paragraph when I felt the immense anxiety that came after I locked up my bike and just began walking around the town. Compare this to a month ago when I was walking around a foreign city, opening large groups of other people for warmup sets, and got to a point where I could relatively confidently cold approach. This just shows me the importance of consistency and social momentum - hence the aim of getting myself in a social environment each day.
     
  16. Gort

    Gort Robot

    Notification: The previous update has been rated.

    The score was: 2.00.

    Your next progress update will come due on Sun, 02 Sep 2018
     
  17. Tom

    Tom Active Member

    Rating points:
    108
    Action points:
    261
    Result points:
    221
    i have it. it's a good book! i stopped at 'buy new clothes' as I want to be leaner before i blast money on a wardrobe but I've read most of it, it looks class.

    i agree with getting out, I think you've built it up in your head too much over the summer. You've shown yourself it's no big deal and you are fine with it.
     
    James and Shaney96 like this.
  18. James

    James Host

    It does improve, but not rapidly. Usually it's more like: in one year you realize you did something you'd never have considered doing a year ago.

    Grind on; you're doing the right thing.

    Always read after taking action though.
     
  19. Gort

    Gort Robot

    Notification: Goal update is due.

    Please submit an update on your goal progress.
     
  20. Shaney96

    Shaney96 Active Member

    Rating points:
    94
    Action points:
    634
    Result points:
    709

    Goal Update

    Interactions: ~7
    Cold Approaches: 5

    5 cold approaches have come from me following The Rules of The Game, and therefore having set targets for each day for me to hit. I've found this to be helpful as I can head out with a set target, and I make myself feel even more accountable for achieving the goal. Something I've not been doing is reflecting on the approaches, so this is something I must do this week.
    Also, Uni starts in two weeks, so I'm hoping more girls will be around. The other day a challenge was to get a clothes store recommendation and approach at least 3 girls. It took me nearly 3 damn hours to do these 3 approaches, and it was on a Saturday. Most of the girls were with a boy, a group of friends, or with their family; the girls I managed to approach were walking home from work. I definitely bailed on some sets, but I'm glad I've gotten out there and done a couple of approaches, and actually proven to myself that I can approach in my local city. I'll add some more splurge beneath the approaches below...

    Approaches 1 & 2:
    These were before boxing on Wednesday. One was stopping this girl getting her to take her earphones out and complementing her jacket, then asking where she got it from. I bailed soon after. I realized that I felt pretty damn anxious here, and I can think of 2 reasons why: It was my first direct approach in this country since a couple of years, and I also realize she was dressed quite hipster, and this made me realize I may be more attracted to these types of girls.
    The other girl was leaving a gym as I was biking to boxing. This was definitely an indirect approach and we spoke about gym, then I got her name and where she worked, and left it at that. I felt quite at ease here since I'd spoken to a few strangers (part of that days Stylelife challenge) between the first approach and her.

    Approaches 3, 4 and 5:
    First approach of the Saturday. Girl seemed surprised to be stopped. Complemented her look, made small talk. She was smiling and I believe I could've continued the set, but I bailed due to anxiety.
    Second girl didn't talk much and was on her way after a few sentences.
    Last girl was power-walking so it took a minute to catch up to her, as I don't have the confidence - and simply am not attracted to the idea at all - to run in front and stop her in her tracks. We spoke for a bit and I touched her on her shoulder as I said she could get back to her music, for she made little effort to converse. Glad I got some kino in there.

    Splurge:
    - I've said it before, but I'm definitely curious about how I'll be with people at Uni. I think I've matured a decent amount since Year 2, and hope I'll have the confidence to escalate and be more able to pick up on IOIs. I also hope I can put myself out there enough, as I'm so used to seeing other guys socialize in big groups, and me stuck thinking 'I bet I'd be popular in such a group' but never being part of many groups like this.
    - Just walking around and observing people makes me realize that I'm not so bad really, and could consider myself above-average (overall, not necessarily in looks). Of course, I must beware that I don't use this to rationalize my way out of uncomfortable situations, but it's just been interesting observing how beta other guys can act and how needy and attention-seeking girls can be.
    - I find I'm only really inclined to approach genuinely attractive girls. Like, I've not really approached any girls that I think are 'meh'. Although they offer me more anxiety, it's like I don't really see the point in doing a proper approach with someone I don't find that attractive. I think this shows I'm more content with myself than I originally thought, because I'm in no way trying to 'scrape the barrel' for female validation.
     

    Voting on this update has closed.

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